Show up. Make sure you are two steps down from where MLK spoke.
Keep emphasizing personal responsibility to regain lost virtue, kindness, and nobility.
Mention all manners of worthwhile exertion. Repeat. Use different words.
Wait for cheers. Wait for huzzahs. Affirm every quality that no one is really against. Espouse firm-sounding convictions. Wait for sage nodding of heads. Emblazon noble traits on banners, posters. Indicate that the future is tenuous, uncertain, even horrifying. Appeal to future correction based on the sudden awakening of plucky, noble ingenuity of the American. In fact: Git back to being good, America.
To prove that it’s about bein’ good, invite a whole gaggle of pastors and religious leaders. Say that God is all of the answer, but not all of God. Not God’s boy, Heysoos. And not that weird Spirit thinga-ma-Ghost. Just God the distant grandfather who loves Capitalism and early-bird specials. Just Pappy. The one who stays away. Far away. The one who is busy minding his bird-feeder, and washes his antique T-Bird lovingly every week in the driveway. The one who puts it on our shoulders and lets us figger it all out—because he is counting on us to finally see our intrinsic value. The one who sends us positive postcards of encouragement to “do the right thing.”
Gather together religious leaders who want to play in the sandbox of Notoriety. Or just on the stairs of a Memorial. Get all the religious leaders who cannot be troubled with the work of Jesus. Hold a lecture on Moralism 101: Sell personal virtue without having to kill the zombie within. Offer personally achieved goodness. But do not look to Another to do this. Do it your d@mn self. And success will be sure to follow.
I am doing these dishes because it means that I cannot be inconvenienced in any other way. Do not ask me to do anything else; I am doing the dishes, can’t you see? I am doing these dishes because it means that I now have the right to selfishly indulge myself at a later time with uninterrupted “me-time.” It will not matter if that selfishness is counter-productive to family peace or maintenance. Because I earned this window of self-absorbed reclining. The clean kitchen has a value and now you must do something that is equivalent to this value, before I can be energized to do another big service. This clean kitchen means that you cannot gently point out my beastly idols of self. This clean kitchen gives me a self-protective bubble where I cannot be criticized. Doing these dishes means that I must be recognized for it. It means I need a “thank you.” That way it lets me seem magnanimous when I say “No problem; my pleasure.”
I will consult my Order of Pharisees (OOP) manual to see how I can disguise all of these things, instead of crying for real heart change.
Adorable Pharisee: If I play Wii, I will be happy.
Phather: Aren’t you happy now?
Adorable Pharisee: No. I’m only happy when people let me do what I want to do.
Another reason why Jesus and his work enough: my joy is not conditioned upon what other people do or say to me…and I still wish I wasn’t such a Pharisee.
The problem with Pharisees is that everybody thinks they are probably the joy-sucking goody-two-shoes who are just asking for a wedgie. But what happens when the Pharisees start listening to awesome indie music, wear thrift-store t-shirts with nonchalance, and mutter ironic, witty references to pop-culture?
The Order of Pharisees(OOP) decided they needed to be re-branded and recast. Somehow they were not communicating their timeless message to the youth of today. They needed a new logo, an ad campaign, and a slogan: “Because deep down, I think I’m better than you.” ™ Enter the Hipster Christian®— not your daddy’s mint-and-cumin-tithing-white washed-tomb.
Brett McCracken explores this in a new book: article here.
The WSJ recently had an article describing the mass exodus of young evangelicals from church. You see, on paper this is a puzzler: At no other time has the church attempted to be so relevant, culturally abreast, pop-cultured, and techno-savvy. So what gives?
It seems that young evangelicals want the Gospel proclaimed in church.
It seems that they want less slick marketing cool and more truth.
I think I want to read this book.
A quote from William Still’s book, The Work of the Pastor:
It is to feed the sheep on truth that men are called to churches and congregations, whatever they may think they are called to do.
If you think that you are called to keep a largely worldly organisation, miscalled a church, going, with infinitesimal doses of innocuous sub-Christian drugs or stimulants, then the only help I can give you is to advise you to give up the hope of the ministry and go and be a street scavenger; a far healthier and more godly job, keeping the streets tidy, than cluttering the church with a lot of worldly claptrap in the delusion that you are doing a job for God.
The pastor is called to feed the sheep, even if the sheep do not want to be fed. He is certainly not to become an entertainer of goats. Let goats entertain goats, and let them do it out in goatland. You will certainly not turn goats into sheep by pandering to their goatishness.
Do we really believe that the Word of God, by His Spirit, changes, as well as maddens men? If we do, to be evangelists and pastors, feeders of sheep, we must be men of the Word of God.
A brief scan of this advert makes it almost impossible to believe that someone would clip out the order form, carefully fill it out, and send it in.
Laughter was my first response.
And then I think of the desperation that some may feel to just…try anything. Anything at all that might make their chronic pain go away. And that’s where this is not a joke. It’s insulting and predatory. It’s as if the marketing team said, “Let’s throw ‘Jesus’ on the bracelet, since our targeted demographic has already suspended rationality as a pre-requisite for navigating their lives.)”
As a church which has borne Christian witness in this land for more than 400 years falls to pieces on our watch and around our ears we have hundreds of hours to spend making vestments for dolls.
In the Christmas spirit, I’m offering up two simply unbelievable intersections of Jesus and Santa Claus. The second is definitely by Christians; the first by someone I believe to be a Christian, because when he was interviewed, he said that Christmas was supposed to be about Jesus, which I doubt a non-believer would be saying these days. So assuming that we’re dealing with Christians all around, here are two commentaries on Jesus and Santa:
Yes, you are seeing Jesus holding a double barrel shotgun, having just shot Santa Claus. You can read the full report, complete with video, here. The creator of this display, who claims it to be a work of art, intends it to be a commentary on how Christmas has been commercialized.
Now, before offering any comment on this, I’ll offer the contrast of the second item:
That gem was found on a local church’s signboard. (Increasingly, I think that the best thing that government could do for the church would be to ban these signboards, stopping Christians from saying things that make them look like morons.)
OK, so here we have two vastly different views of Jesus and Santa. On the one hand, Jesus is popping a cap in Santa and on the other, Jesus sort of becomes Santa, complete with the list of naughty and nice. Poor Santa just can’t win, can he?
Really, what this proves to me is how utterly the church writ large has failed to comprehend Jesus, despite having the Scriptures and thousands of years of learning about them. Of the two, I think that the signboard actually displays the worse misapprehension. The implication of Jesus having a list and checking it twice is that he’s going to find out who’s a good little boy - getting salvation in his stocking - and who’s been a bad boy - getting a lump of Satan’s coal in his. So to be saved, you’d better be good, for goodness sake!
This is works righteousness taken to its logical conclusion. How this squares with anything Jesus ever said to a pharisee, anything Paul ever wrote - indeed, with the entirety of Scripture is lost on me. What the Bible actually teaches is that we are all desperately wicked, despite any of man’s outer appearances of being good little boys and girls. Of course, for the modern American church, this is unpalatable in the extreme. So instead, it transforms Christ into jolly old St. Nick, allowing its members the illusion of working their way off the naughty list and onto the nice list. But really, Santa is much less threatening that the Christ of the scriptures, isn’t he?
All of which brings me to the dead Santa scene. This one actually caused me to have several different reactions, because, unlike the signboard, there is an element of truth to this guy’s point. No one can reasonably dispute that Christmas has been commercialized to obscene extremes. Also, it is true that Jesus is going to ultimately judge the world and will destroy such things.
That said, it seems that the guy who created this is missing several pretty important points. As a Christian, one should understand that the commercialization of Christmas springs from our completely self-centered, greedy, depraved natures as humans. Would taking out Santa stop that? I realize that Santa may be seen as a symbol for such, but I don’t think it’s obvious that this was the intent of the guy who set this up. He clearly rails against commercialization, but that’s the symptom, not the disease.
Also, I don’t think that the image of Jesus with a shotgun is exactly the way to convey either divine displeasure with commercialization or the way judgment will be carried out. The shotgun implies a very human vigilante-style justice, which is a far cry from the perfect judgment that will be carried out at the last day.
Taking both pieces together, though, it strikes me that the modern church must really be lacking for understanding of Jesus to try relating him to Santa Claus. Maybe the ones who need to get back to the true meaning of Christmas aren’t all the pagans around us, but church itself.
I know many people are puzzled when they hear that America and the Christian religion are not mutual bedfellows. I love America. I just don’t want patriotism exalted in the worship of God. Take me to the park. Give my kids sparklers. Let me listen to Tchaikovsky’s 1812 overture with fireworks crackling. I’ll even organize an event to honor our veterans. I’ll belt out the anthem at the ballpark; I’ll stand straight and quiet with my hand hand solemnly placed over my heart. At the ballpark. But not in church.
Check out this tantalizing excerpt from Stanley Hauerwas’ lecture he presented at Princeton Seminary:
We already know that the world will mock, scorn, and laugh at Christians for their seemingly foolish beliefs. I’m ok with that.
We will never be considered to be the intellectual and sophisticated darlings of any age. I’m ok with that.
But do we have to make it so easy for an unbelieving (or believing community, for that matter) world to explode into fits of giggles at our “serious” attempts at cinema?
Book: The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University
Kevin Roose went undercover at Liberty University for a semester. He even went on the university’s spring break mission trip— an attempt to convert spring-breakers for Jesus.
There is a great excerpt at Salon.com. It is fantastic and hard to read all at the same time. You will cringe as you watch evangelicals do almost everything they shouldn’t do in evangelism. It is painful. This would be a great discussion piece some evening, to be sure.
One quote:
He slumps back against the tree, a little maudlin, eyes sloshing around in his head.
“Jason, you need to be born again.”
“So what if I am? Then tomorrow, I come back out here and go drinking again, and nothing’s changed. What good is that?”
“You won’t come back out here tomorrow if you get born again. You’ll have the Holy Spirit guiding you.”
The issue of post-salvation behavior is an interesting one. I thought, when Scott was teaching us to evangelize, that we’d be told to do some sort of follow-up with successful converts, if we had any — guide them to a local church, maybe, or at least take their contact information. But there’s no such procedure. If Jason had decided to get saved (he didn’t), Martina would have led him through the Sinner’s Prayer (“Jesus, I am a sinner, come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior” or some variant thereof), she would have let him know he was saved, perhaps given him some Bible verses to read, and they never would have seen each other again. Cold-turkey evangelism provides the shortest, most non-committal conversion offer of any Western religion — which, I suspect, is part of the appeal.
If the new believer backslides, though, like Jason was suggesting he might, Christians are likely to believe that he wasn’t really saved. False conversions are a glaring wart on the face of Christian evangelism. In the book that accompanies our Way of the Master program, I found several sobering statistics about the percentage of apparent converts who stay involved with the church in the long term, including one from Peter Wagner, a seminary professor in California who estimated that only 3 to 16 percent of the converts at Christian crusades stay involved.
The false conversion rate is profoundly depressing if you believe in this stuff. After all, if we get ten converts during this week — an optimistic number — and our false conversion numbers are consistent with the average, this group has spent a week’s worth of twelve-hour days, thousands of dollars, and suffered massive amounts of emotional trauma for what? One more Christian? Two?
Unsatisfied with no viable “Christian” alternative to kosher salt, retired plumber Joe Godlewski is the brain trust behind Blessed Christians Salt ™. An Episcopalian priest will bless all salt.
After watching television chefs extol the benefits of kosher salt, Mr. Godlewski thought to himself:
But why stop there? An entire line of foodstuffs is needed. No wait, a Christian grocery store. Better, yet: A Christian member’s-only club ala Costco and Sam’s, with Christian carts, and Christian flat-screen TV’s, and a Christian family fun pack of Christian cereal packaged by overworked under-aged underground Chinese Christians. And there would be Christian smiles handed out for free.
Just when we thought the Left Behind series fad would go the way of WWJD bracelets, a California pastor has decided to apply the shock paddles and continue giving life-support to this American Evangelical obsession with the Apocalypse. Enter Armageddon Now, the comic book.
A news article is here.
And the official (LaHaye and Jenkins endorsement is unknowable at this time) Armageddon Now website is here.
My first impression was primarily one of a visual nature. The pastor employed Rob Liefield, a legendary Marvel artist, to depict the fighting Christian Remnant. Who knew that God’s elect were so brawny and busty? Unescapable touches: (look below) the American flag, mini-skirt, and football. God must be American, and he must also want his chosen to win muscle/beauty pageants. Note well the steady gun trained on the hapless Arab-looking man, as well.
I can’t decide what’s at work here. Is it that American Christendom has lost its collective mind, or, instead is it that the media diligently seeks out wackos and magnifies them? Maybe both. Either way, members of the Praise Chapel Christian Fellowship in Missouri decided that Christ had been taken out of Christmas and they were going to do something about it. What you ask? Why, what anyone would do - they decided to go about their normal ordinary lives dressed as Jesus. Video here:
I hardly know where to start. And, honestly, I’m so tired of this stuff that maybe I’ll just leave the obvious critiques to the commenters.
“I know it’s a crazy idea,” said pastor Kelly Lohrke, whose 600 members attend services in Kansas City, Kan., and nearby Lee’s Summit, Mo. “I know it’s a radical idea. Christians can have fun with their faith and sharing their faith.”
Exit question: Assume for a moment that you don’t believe in election. Would having a bunch of people walking around wearing crowns of thorns make unbeliveres more or less likely to want to become Christians?
Since Rock and Roll is clearly responsible for musical atrocities such as Milli Vanilli, N*Sync, and the Jonas Brothers, cautious and pious Christians everywhere declined to pick up the proverbial axe when Guitar Hero I came to video-game console systems. They sniffed at the temptation of Guitar Hero II. They refused Guitar Hero III. And they despised the organized, collective sin of Rock Band (PS3, X360: “in stores now!”) But now, finally, now Guitar Praise has come along.
Cherub-like, nimble fingers everywhere are clamoring to perform: Jesus style.
Guitar Praise: “Because Sometimes People Just Have to See How Good You Are”
I realize that we should “pray without ceasing.” But have we really run out of things to pray for?
I am reminded what R. Laurence Moore (Cornell University) said of much of American Christianity:
“…most American Protestants have merely confused the sacred with their well-known devotion to practical results.”
Isn’t that what you want to tell your co-workers: “Yes, I worship the great-god-of-lower-gas-prices-and-occasional discounts-on-detergent-almighty. Won’t you come to my church? Also: can I borrow a couple bucks?”
We know that Jesus said that he was the “Living Water.” But he didn’t copyright “Spiritual Water.” And that’s where these misguided capitalists step into the picture.
A sampling from their website:
Spiritual Water was born as bottled water with spirituality, positive thinking, prayers, God, and beliefs. You choose which bottle fits your needs and your feelings, read the prayer, drink the water, believe in God – and in yourself – and the sky’s the limit…
Please note that “God” is fourth in the list of this nutri-spirit-cocktail-o’-goodness.
Other thoughts: what makes it spiritual? The picture, the prayer, the water itself….or the positive thinking? Or is it the secret cocktail combination of every element blended with care at the packaging plant?
FREEDOM WATER
NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE!
Do you have freedom? Do you need more freedom? Grab a cold freedom Spiritual Water bottle, read the prayer, believe in God, believe in yourself and the sky’s the limit…
Also available in Balance, Focus, Defense, Control, Energy, Formula “J,” Essential, Power, Refresh, and Strength.
Sometimes, you read something in the news that is so stupid, so insipid, so completely and utterly ridiculous, that you wonder whether you’ve stumbled onto the Onion, or some such. Although, when I tell you that this story involves the intersection of the Church of England, Global Warming, and Lent, perhaps it will seem less like parody.
Two bishops in the Church of England are suggesting that people fast from carbon for the next 40 days. Read it here. Quoth Bishop of Liverpool James Jones:
For example, on the first day, people can take out one of their light bulbs and whenever they go to turn that light on, and it doesnÂt work, they can remember why they are fasting from carbon — to help the poor of the world. At the end of the fast they can replace it with an energy-saving light bulb.
How does anyone’s stumbling around in the dark help the poor of the world? What absolute nonsense. No wonder the pews are empty in the CoE.
Please, please do not buy me any Christian merchandise.
Depressing story here.
Why is the target demographic middle-aged moms? (No offense to middle-age moms; it just seems to be a rather monochromatic approach.) Does this depict American Christianity?
Ok, maybe I’ll just give in. You can buy me the bull-riding Jesus.
I feel like Dave Barry, when I say, “I’m not making this up.” Someone saw this church sign here in Tuscloosa, alerted me, and then sent me the photos. Here it is in all its glory:
I even feel I’m being too nice by pixelating the church name and the pastor’s name. This is excrement. This is anti-scriptural, anti-gospel, and anti-work-of-Christ…..and impossible. I told somebody that vulgarity spray-painted on a brick wall would have been less destructive than this nonsense. I will go take 10 deep breaths, now.
“For it is by grace you have been saved— through faith, and even your faith is not of yourselves— it is the gift of God, so that no one should boast.” Ephesians 2:8,9
Last week Sen. Chuck Grassley from Iowa launched a Senate Panel investigation into 6 televangelists. It turns out that Creflo Dollar’s church bought him a Rolls Royce. (Article here.) To the Riverwood faithful: I like the color charcoal.
Life’s been pretty hectic around our house the last few weeks since my mom had a fall, so I was enjoying just staying in this morning, drinking my coffee and staring at our Christmas tree. I began to peruse some catalogues for Christmas crafts to use for the covenant kids’ Christmas and Craft day. The following items kind of soured my Christmasy mood. Just HAD TO SHARE and confirm what you already know about modern Christian gullibilities and sensitivites. Do they really have purchasers for these?
1. A coffee mug that reminds you, “God loves you a latte.”
2. a snowman ornament proclaiming “Jesus loves you snow much!”
3. a “plush stuffed bears nativity scene ” (I.e. little stuffed bears dressed like Joseph,Mary,baby Jesus bear, etc.
4. a vinyl nativity rubber duckies scene (same as above but little yellow bath ducks dressed as wise men,
Jesus, Joseph, sheperds, etc.)
5. Little packages of gummy reindeer proclaiming “Jesus is deer to me.” (get it?)
6. And, of course, several varieties of cross-shaped Christmas lollipops in…peppermint, etc.)
Well, I could go on. These are only a sampling. Cha-ching! Cha-ching! What suckers we evangelicals are!
Basically, it’s an online version of a sermon illustration book—the bane of all diligent ministers. It has “powerful illustrations” indexed by topic and user rated for its heart-rending effectiveness. Once the perfect illustration, video, or movie is discovered, you simply add it to your virtual cart. Prices range from $15 to $89 (from what I perused).
There are many things wrong with this approach, but I will only highlight several
1) It prevents the minister from properly dividing the Word of Truth.
Instead or reading the Greek, Hebrew, commentaries, and other fine literature, I can just “click to download.” It doesn’t promote labor, good thinking, or habitual discipline.
2) Sermons are reduced to ear-candy
Sermons begin to be rated by their interesting stories, not by their truth-laden content.
3) Promotes sensationalism and emotionalism (read: manipulative)
User-rated responses highlighted the illustrations that evoked the most powerful emotive response. (Yes, illustrations can be emotional, but that cannot be their primary attribute for selection)
4) Promotes moralism through topicality
Since these illustrations are not tied to specific texts under examination, it easily leads to superficial, topical fluff, that is devoid of a broader (redemptive-historical) and specific (textual) contextual considerations.
5) A steady diet of fiction leads to sentimentality
Akin to email forwards that relay an emotional and/or fictional story, this leads well-meaning Christians down a road of the “unreal and fantastical.” Our faith should always be grounded in reality. Justification in the midst of the grit and pain of reality. It reminds me of the well-intended WWJD fad—based on a completely fictional book that “transformed an entire town” because they uttered, “What would Jesus do?” before every action.
Please comment on this site’s validity and worthwhile nature, because I might have written this during an excitable state of mind.
I know, I know. Another post about a church sign. But the whole phenomenon both facinates and disgusts me at the same time. What is it about giving a church a signboard that impels them to put something irretreivably stupid on it?
Passing by a church on my way back home from vacation, we saw a sign that read:
“Salvation is a Gift from God - Assembly Required.”
Last week I posted on how often the church uses mass marketing tactics rather than eloquent persuasion. Does this not prove the point? Not only does it seem to contradict its own message, but its lame attempt at humor only reminds me of those toys that I’ve bought for my kids that have to be put together while they cry impatiently. Not exactly the kind of image I’d want to bring to mind.
Worse, though, is the contradiction. It starts out sounding like grace, but finishes up sounding more like something with strings attached. Which is it? Do you get salvation, full and free, or is there a requirement that you show up to church a few times to make God like you better before it’s complete? And if that’s not the type of “assembly” they mean, then that’s even worse.
I don’t want anyone to think that I’m discounting the importance of regular attendance at church for believers. That’s not what the sign I saw talked about, though. It’s expressly referring to salvation.
I guess I’m just glad I don’t get gifts from these guys.
Well, it has been a long time since I’ve had the chance to sit down and put up a post. However, this week, that should change. I’m at the beach this week, and will hopefully have the time to do some things that I really enjoy, and blogging has turned out to be one of those.
So, to start the week off, here’s the view from my balcony at sunset this evening:
Anytime you travel any distance, you can’t help but run across a couple of church signs of the type that Bryan Bond was so fond of, er, critiquing. We passed by a large community-type church this morning. Later in the day, we saw a billboard for this church that had its name and slogan. I’ll withhold the church’s name, but the slogan was “Bringing good people together.”
Ordinarily, it would be easy enough from our reformed perspective to ridicule this, and normally that’s what this post would be about. However, I’ve started reading a book that has given me a bit of perspective about why the slogan is so bad.
The Board at Riverwood Classical School (on which I am honored to sit) is currently reading a book entitled Widsom and Eloquence. The authors’ thesis, borrowing from Augustine, is that to truly make a difference in a disbelieving world, Christians must be not only wise, but also be eloquent, so as to enable them to persuasively communicate their wisdom to that world.
Now, consider the church’s slogan, “Bringing Good People Together,” in this light. Is it wisdom communicated eloquently? Perhaps that’s too much to ask from a billboard (which begs the question of using such a thing anyway), but, leaving that aside, I assert that this is neither wise nor eloquent.
It’s not wise in that it’s contrary to the plain teaching of scripture:
As it is written:
“There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.”
Romans 3:10-12. Also, I’d argue that it’s not particuarly eloquent. What fraternity, sorrority, country club, alumni association, or any number of other social organizations wouldn’t say the same thing? What if you don’t happen to feel like all that great a person? Should you pass this place by? It may qualify as catchy in a mass-communications sense, but that’s not the same as eloquence. I fear that the church has bought into earthly advertising ideas as a replacement for true communication and persuasion.
I’m sure that some will read this post and think that it’s not particuarly brimming with wisdom or eloquence, and maybe that person is right. However, as an aspirational standard for Christians, I think it’s spot-on.
Gene Veith’s blog is one I enjoy reading regularly. He was with World Magazine until he recently took a position with Patrick Henry College.
Today he referenced an article about Christian theme parks.
I really can’t do it justice. Here’s the link.
… and yes, there really was a Golgotha Fun park miniature golf course in Cave City,KY, it’s currently for sale….
I also found several other articles available online about the Holy Land Experience Park in Orlando. Just Google ‘Christian theme parks’. Be sure your stomach is settled before you hit enter.
I think this is the first advertisement to be submitted for Christian Chaff:
Apparently a British group called Churches’ Advertising Network will place this ad with a caption reading “Where will you find him?” Their stated intention is to spark discussion about where people find God.
This has ticked off the anti-drinking advocates, who say it will undermine anti-binge drinking campaigns. What exactly about this image is supposed to incline folks to funnel beer is not exactly clear to me.
However, I am at a loss to understand how this furthers the gospel. Does this mean that you can find Jesus in your beer glass, or not? From what the group says, I think they mean no, but, just to look at the ad and the slogan, it’s by no means clear.
It really brought to mind Tim’s sermon from last week about how Christians should desire excellence and discernment. Without getting into the relative merits and demerits of mass media advertising for Jesus, I think it’s pretty clear that this is not even excellent advertising, because its message is so confusing. What’s the non-believer supposed to take away from this? Is he or she supposed to see the face in the foam and miraculously convert? Or is the non-believer to be shamed for drinking a beer?
After some discussions from a bunch of “non-commenters,” I think it would probably be helpful if I offered some real affirmation and proper critique of the “Christian” products that I doom to carry the label of “Christian Chaff.” (And, no, these products will not eventually begin to carry a proud dignity ala Hester Prynne’s prominent ‘A.’) Sometimes their weaknesses seem so garish, blatant, and self-evident, that I don’t think it needs my added derision. But I don’t think that serves anyone to fully, critically, tactfully, carefully, and responsibly interact with their environs. (Yes, that was a continuous string of 5 adverbs)
These t-shirts were found online here. However, full credit goes to Miss Prathima Ryali-Hancock for discovering the site. Although not shown below, she had a particular bewilderment at the entire “Jesus Is My Homeboy” line of t-shirts and accessories.
Now, after you chuckle with Reformed Disdain— look, again. We have to take these examples seriously, because there are fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who, indeed, wear these shirts. An unbelieving world rarely can make the proper distinctions between denominations, or between fanaticism and orthodox belief. Whether we like it or not, we are lumped together in a giant ball of doughy Christianity. Consequently, I think it is proper and important for there to be continual examination and reformation within the Church, by the Church, regardless of denominational affiliation.
First, I would like to point out the praise-worthy aspects of these shirts. It is tempting to assume that the makers of these shirts, primarily, have monetary gain as their motivation. However, I think that this would be a dangerous and inappropriate leap. I think many of these Christian Chaff products stem from sweet and sincere motivations. Note Exhibit A: Patriotism is not altogether bad; neither is exuberance at proclaiming that “Jesus Saves!” Taken separately, I don’t mind either sentiment. Note Exhibit B: There seems to be a desire to pattern our lives after preceding saints, coupled with a plea/exhortation to stick with it when the going gets rocky (pun intended). Those are excellent messages. Note Exhibit C: Truly, Christ is the King of Kings—a proclamation that will find its fruition when “every knee will bow and every tongue confess” those very words. Note: Exhibit D: I think part of the designer’s motivations included a real urgency for people to a) know the reality of a much larger spiritual realm, and b) realize that all people will be called into account for their belief. In isolation, all of these messages are great. However, there is more work to be done.
Although motivations and intentions can be sweet and sincere, the final result of an action or product must also stand alone in its ability to be assessed. And that makes this stuff Christian Chaff.
Exhibit A: This t-shirt is the most appalling to me. Popular evangelicalism has confused patriotism with the Gospel. When Scripture paints a picture of heaven with “all tribes and nations,” I hardly think that the Stars and Stripes will be waving behind the seraphim. In juxtaposition, it would seem that God has blessed the good ole U.S. of A with divine right, and a monopoly on true religion.
Exhibit B: Ask yourself, “Who is the intended audience for this shirt?” If it is intended for believers (evidenced by “stand your ground”), then the edgy statement “Get Stoned” is unnecessary and inappropriate. Is this the proper venue to deliver encouragement and exhortation to a fellow struggler? Surely, there are better ways. In the same way, if the shirt is targeted towards unbelievers, then it has truly little or no meaning without defining context. Misperception will be imminent if there is no shared understanding of the biblical story.
Exhibit C: Parody, imitation, and satire are all tools that have dramatic rhetoric value while, simultaneously, being humorous. However, imitation shows a great lack of creativity if it is unable to highlight something beyond the original meaning. In other words, the t-shirt logo fails to emphasize anything profound or extraordinary. Principally, it is pronouncing, “The King of Kings is just as amazing as the King of the Whoppers.” And, sadly, that’s not saying much.
Exhibit D: If I were to read this t-shirt, I can’t imagine that my heart would be suddenly turned to repentant mush. I liken this t-shirt to the “Hell Houses” that are so prominent in October. If that is the Gospel message, then I want no part of it.
As the title suggests, I believe we might just be more effective if we didn’t wear any Christian t-shirts. I have no evidence to support this following statement, so take it with a grain of salt, but: I sincerely believe that Christian t-shirts have done more to detract from the Gospel than to promote it.
However, I didn’t come across their website until one of our college students handed me a poker chip that felt and weighed….yes, just like the real thing. After my Vegas flashbacks subsided, I began to wonder if I could actually slip this chip into my pile, when I get short-stacked down at Wilhagen’s. But seriously, take a look at the front and reverse of this circular piece of “evangelism.”
Adding words might actually be anti-climactic, so I will limit my observations. Something to ponder: should I now refer to death as, “Cashing in your chips?”
On a recent vacation trip to Atlanta and South Carolina, I decided that there must be a religious revival taking place among Southern young people, or at least, what passes for Christianity amidst the teen set. Everywhere we went; Stone Mountain, the Carolina Aquarium, Six Flags, and even individuals in the streets, there were groups and groups of young people wearing identical tee shirts with Christian “messages” enjoying the sights. Some of the shirts simply had the church name on them and were probably helpful in keeping the group together in crowds. Others added some catchy name for the group, i.e. Teen Mission ‘06. Still others teetered on the outside edge of taste. Finally, some of the groups were, in my opinion, downright detrimental to the cause of Christ.
Many of the shirts had variations of ad slogans. As an example, one of the most obnoxious used the Dairy Association slogan, “Got Milk?” except this was changed to “Got Jesus?” I guess the “message” was: If you haven’t got Jesus, you need to run by your local Pak-A-Sak and get him. He’s there on the shelf and he’s good for you! There were others almost as bad and many were in very garish neon colors that screamed “Look at me!”
The “look at me” idea is a constant for these displays. This was demonstrated most vividly in an episode I’ll call “The Stone Mountain Choir.” We had climbed Stone Mountain; my daughter, myself and my grandchildren. It was late in the afternoon (I’m old and slow) so we decided to ride the trams down. Because it was the last trips available, the building was packed with people waiting in line. Immediately ahead of us was one of these church groups, actually one of the larger ones we saw, maybe forty kids. Their shirts had a Bible passage on the back that was so long and the lettering so small that it couldn’t be read unless you were less than ten feet away and had some time available. When they saw that they had a large captive audience, they broke into a very “cheesy” (to use the new vernacular) praise song, and they sang it for many verses. What was fascinating was to watch the faces of the kids involved and the people forced to listen.
Most of those forced to stand there and listen looked pained. Some of the kids were obviously proud, staring out at everyone with almost a “I dare you to complain” look, indicating that they were Proud to be working for the Lord.Others, especially one particular guy, stood there with a beatific smile, proud to be joyous and holy. After seven or eight verses, it finally died down as some, then finally all, tired of it.
I’ve asked myself if I over-reacted to this stuff. After reflection, I really don’t think so. I’m almost certain that no one ever decided that they needed to find out more about Christ from a tee shirt or other over the top dress, bumper sticker, etc. I am fairly certain that people are usually turned off by these things, and this was quite plain as I surveyed the faces of the listerners to the Stone Mountain Choir. I could normally care less about this silliness but it does bother me that the name of the Lord is used, and I do mean used in its worse sense, so casually, so crassly and with such obvious self satisfaction and self exaltation.
For the past 9 or 10 years, I have been collecting novelties and trinkets that I have found mostly in Christian bookstores. These items have earned themselves the title: “Christian Crap.” These useless, cheap parodies of our secular culture have provided me with hours of sad, sad entertainment. If they are to be taken seriously, they are no less horrible than the indulgences of the 16th century.
But woefully, my Big Box O’ Crap has run out of space. And due to my new position as head pastor, people will grimace at my usage of the aforementioned synonym for excrement. So I have retooled the moniker and have come up with “Christian Chaff.” Yay, it even sounds more biblical.
All that to say, I hope to begin to build a virtual museum of some of the truly bad examples of the Christian sub-culture. If you come across a particularly bad/good example, please email me swiftly. You may even want to apply the Tri-Test:
• Does the item simply copy pop-culture, thereby lacking original creativity?
• Does the item take a bible verse out of context, or is it blatantly heretical/blasphemous?
• And finally, would you personally, use it, wear it, display it, or derive true spiritual encouragement from said object? If not, you have a winner.
Today’s Christian Chaff comes to us from Shoes of the Fisherman (SotF). SotF sells a line of Beach Sandals that leave an imprint on the sand that says, “Jesus Loves You.”
