Riverwood Presbyterian Church

Pastoral Musings

Long-Jumping the Grand Canyon

by Tim Lien

Just recently, the Calumet Village Police (Calumet, Michigan) heard from a lawbreaker who had evaded justice for 32 years. The criminal enclosed a $20 bill, a parking ticket from 1976, and a small note. Investigator/patrolman/spokesman/Police Chief David Outinen noted that the envelope did not have a return address.

The letter explained:

“I always had good intentions of paying it,” ….”I put it aside and every once in a while I would come across it and said, ‘Some day, I’m going to pay it.’ Now I think it’s time.”

The fine for the ticket was $20 in 1976, but if unpaid after 72 hours from issuance, it carried an additional fee for $5.

She ended the letter this way:

“Please don’t try to track me down, I am a respectable lady.”

You can read the very short article, but I think I covered everything.

The most telling sentence comes at the end: “I am a respectable lady.” If by “respectable” you mean that you answer your cell phone with discretion and little annoyance. If by “respectable” you mean that you don’t scream at the top of your lungs when every line at the supermarket moves except yours. If by “respectable” you mean that you smile and say thank you. If by “respectable” you mean that you follow the overwhelming majority of laws currently on the books. If by “respectable” you mean that others consider you to be generally inoffensive.

It is not good which evil violates, for good is inviolate: only a degraded good can be violated. That which is the direct opposite of an evil never belongs to the order of higher good. It is often scarcely any higher than evil. (Examples: theft and the bourgeois respect for property: adultery and the ‘respectable’ woman; the savings in a bank and waste; lying and sincerity.’) – Simone Weil

I often use the illustration of several long-jumpers attempting to cross the Grand Canyon. First, a disabled man approaches the mark, jumps and dies. A normal man runs, jumps, and launches himself 15 ft, also resulting in a spectacular looking death. Finally, the world’s finest long jumper stretches, struts, crouches, and blasts towards the edge. He really has the finest jump of his entire career: 40 ft. But he dies— just like the other two. The Grand Canyon is called Grand for a reason.

The problem I have with moralism is that it views itself as sufficient. It is not. It is death to the same degree as the brazenly offensive.

And in a stroke of ironic sad comedy, our “respectable lady” is still $5 short of innocence.