Riverwood Presbyterian Church

Humor

The USRSF in Iraq

by Lowell Urban

The Pentagon announced today the deployment of a previously unknown elite fighting unit called the

US REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).

These North Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given the following facts about Terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The official motto of this elite new unit is: “If it swims, walks, runs or flies…it dies.”

Sources inside the Pentagon indicated off the record that they expected that the “mess in Iraq should be over in about a week.”

An angry Governor’s Office in Baton Rouge issued the following statement: “We don’t know why they left out Louisiana. We would bring our own 4-wheelers and squirrel guns. Just give us plenty of ammo, that free pass hunting license, air transport and our boys are there! This is obviously another Bush Administration mismanagement of Hurricane Katrina.”

The Pentagon responded: “Well, we heard people talking in French, and just assumed….”

Initial reports from Iraq were positive: “Wait ‘til the Taxidermy Man see what I brung him!!!!”